18.-20.10.2013

Damn, what a weekend! My best friend had his birthday party on friday night, and even with eating really few over the day, I was so over my calories with the hot dogs, the cake and all the alcohol :D But I don't care, it was an amazing evening and I ate pretty few the last two days, mostly shakes and lowfat curd with fruits. I'm back on track now, but this month is really hard cause so many have their birthdays in October.
No workouts again, I really have to work harder on this point next week.

17.10.2013

Again, no exercise. Today was Krav Maga, but my best friend was stuck in a meeting and I ate to much to train right after it. Yeah, I was a little bingy today.
For breakfast I had one of my cheese and ham omelets. For lunch I wanted to try the delicious looking casserole wih mushrooms and cauliflower I told you about. I prepared everything, and when it was in the oven, I suddenly felt a strong crave for strawberry curd. So I prepared 500g curd and 500g frozen strawberries and mashed them up with a little stevia. I just wanted to try it, but when I started eating the delicious curd, I wasn't able to stop anymore. The casserole was still in oven when the curd was already gone. I felt sick from eating too much, and of course, there was no way I'm gonna eat some casserole after that. I saved it for dinner and ate half of it then. It was tasty, although I expected a little bit more. Next time I'll use fresh mushrooms and not the frozen ones.
My calories for today are good, same for my carbs, but I still feel guilty about eating all the curd, even when it was pretty healthy and not rich on calories. I just wasn't able to stop myself. I need more discipline.

16.10.2013

No workour today. I'm slacking, I know, but there's no way I'm gonna go run before 8,5 hours of work, standing all the time. And afterwards it's too late for running.

For breakfast I had cottage cheese with apple mango sauce. Strangely, it wasn't as tasty as I thought it would be, and I didn't make it through the whole bowl. For lunch I had pancakes, again with the sauce, those were yummier. Still, I can't get used to protein pancakes without any flour, they taste a little strange.
For lunch I had a double protein shake to make it through work. Again, too little calories, but I had too many of them yesterday, so I'm okay wih it.

15.10.2013

I'm still sore from yesterday (these strange pull ups killed me),so i decided to skip workout today.

For breakfast I had a shake (no time for more), for lunch I had cottage cheese with grated goat cheese and chives. Then my best friend called and invited me to salmon spagetti and whiskey. My calories allowed it (at least the spagetti), so I said yes and enjoyed. I love salmon spagetti :) And my carbs are still under 120. The whiskey killed my calorie limit a bit, but I didn't drink too much, so I think it's okay. If I forbid myself everything, I wouldn't have the endurance for more than a month of dieting.

Me and my devil

There's a little devil on my shoulder, whispering to me all the time. Sometimes he's loud, sometimes he's even louder. There are days where he can't tempt me, and days where he sounds almost reasonable.
Today I bought delicious goat cheese, grated it in my cottage cheese and had it for lunch. In case you didn't know yet, he one thing I could never live without is cheese. And aromatic goat cheese with cottage cheese is like heaven on earth for me. I ate it, it was delicious, and that should be the end of the story. But it's never the end, isn't it? Too much cheese left for that. After ignoring the devil for almost a month now, he suddenly whispered in my ear...

Eat the goat cheese.
But... I just had goat cheese! I'm not hungry anymore.
Who cares? Eat it!
But I don't want to!
Of course you want. It tastes like heaven. You love cheese.
I know I love cheese. But...
No but. It's tasty, eat it now! It's creamy, spicy... you want it, admit it!
Well, yeah, I want it. But I don't want it.
Listen to yourself, that sounds ridiculous. Nobody will know it. Now go and eat the damn cheese.

I was half way to the kitchen until I realized what I was doing. I wasn't hungry and I just had cheese. So why eating even more of it? I would regret it.
The problem is, once I start listening to the little devil, I won't stop. I can eat chocolate or cheese or anything else tasty without regret and with full self control, but not when the devil is telling me to do so. There's a big difference between "I choose to allow myself a piece of XY" and "WANT IT!! NOW!!".
So I returned to my living room. And not soon after, I heard the devil again.

So, what's up with the cheese?
I won't eat it.
Of course you will. You don't have any self dicipline.
I have, and I won't eat the damn cheese.
Who cares if you eat it now? Nobody gives a damn about your weight. Go and eat the cheese, it's just there waiting for you!
Please go away.
I won't. Eat the cheese and then order a Pizza.
But I'm not hungry?
So what? Pizza is delicious, that's all you need to know. But first go to the freezer and eat the cheese.

Again, I went to the kitchen, I almost gave in. But then I realized, it's the same devil that is telling me that I'm fat and ugly all the time. He's an asshole, he wants me to do unhealthy things, he wants me to hate and despise myself, and he's getting bigger every time I give in and do what he wants. And I already listened to his poisoned words for too long. I won't listen to the devil any longer.

Hey you! How about another cottage cheese with stewed apple? All healthy and stuff?

Yeah, it's one of these days...

And then have the cheese!

14.10.2013

Today i ate way to less. My day was super busy, i slept in, ran off to university to put up some lists of my old law books i want to sell, met a friend, had ergotherapy and then i was in Krav Maga. In between I only had time for the little pancake left from yesterday. 160 calories, irks! Now I ate a cup of oats with cocoa, protein powder, some peanutbutter and a banana and snacked a hard boiled egg, but I'm still only at 800 calories - not even 800, because I wasn't able to eat the whole bowl -.-



As mentioned, today was Krav Maga training. It wasn't as exhausting as it is usually, because we practiced disarming, and within the drills later I suddenly almost fainted. Yeah, no wonder, I only had the pancake until then. Won't make that mistake again. Now the rule isn't only "don't eat right before the training", it's also "eat enough on training days".

13.10.2013

Today was a work day for me, and my feet HURT. So no workout for me.



For breakfast I had a double shake, so I won't get too hungry at work. For lunch/dinner was gilthead seabream with spinach. And then at night, because i had so many calories left and was a little hungry, I decided to make me a batch of yummy protein pancakes filled with raspberry cottage cheese. Hmmmm :)

12.10.2013

W3D2 of Zombies 5k completed. I really beat myself to running. The weather was fine and I had the time, so i had no excuses - 4 workouts a week, that's the deal. And who knows how my big motivation will be tomorrow after work. First I was like NOOOO I CAN'T DO THIS TODAY! SOOO EXHAUSTED!, but then it went pretty well. I managed to have almost the same running time as yesterday and I even made 4 km, which is 500 meters more than yesterday. Also I cleaned up my cellar and lifted some pretty heavy things, that's like a little workout too, right? ;)

For breakfast I had my yummy omelet with ham and cheese. My lunch was some cottage cheese with stewed apple. For lunch I had the rest of my yummy fish and broccoli casserole from yesterday. Altogether I had about 1500 calories with only 70 g carbs, which is perfect.

Low Carb Recipes to Try Out in October

The internet is full of delicious low carb recipes. Here are some of my finds that I want to try this month:

Chocolate Peanut Butter "Keto Fudge"
Sounds like a delicious treat :)

Eggplant Parmesan Quinoa Casserole
I never had Quinoa before, but I always wanted to try it. And eggplants are super yummy!

Caramelized Cauliflower and Mushroom Casserole
I love mushrooms. And I never had the idea to caramelize my cauliflower, I'm really curious about the taste.

Cream Cheese Pancakes
They look so tasty, I wish I had cream cheese at home right now.

11.10.2013

Today I ate cake and I don't regret a single bite. It was delicous! I also had two glasses of mead. I love mead :) I didn't lose control, I stopped when I was full, which is a big step for me. When I started my diet, I swore to myself that I won't be too dogmatic and grim about it. Sometimes, you just have to enjoy a little treat without feeling guilty about it. I'm a little over my calories now, but I had a great evening with my friends and a lot of fun. I'm even within my carb scope.
For breakfast I just had a protein shake, for lunch I had a delicious fish and broccoli casserole with sheep's cheese. The cake was my dinner.



I also completed W3D1 of Zombies 5k. I even ran about the half of my free form runs. It was exhausting, but in the end I'm always glad that I made it. I might be slow as hell and look like a funny red headed whale, swearing and sweating, but I run!





What else did I wanted to say? ... ah yeah, you can also follow me on bloglovin'. Just saying.
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10.10.2013

Today was Krav Maga training again. Most of the people who go there are way ahead of me, so sometimes I feel like a clumsy child doing my punches and tiring out in the middle of the drills. But I leave smiling every time and I feel great. It wasn't as exhausting as it was the last times, but I guess it's also due to the shorter length of the training on Thursdays. Or maybe I'm getting used to it. I would even go out for a run in addition if it wasn't so late already.

For breakfast I had a delicious omelet with cheese and diced ham. I can't get enough of these, they are so tasty! For lunch, which I ate very late, I just had cottage cheese with stewed apple. Not much, but I don't like to train with a full stomach. And I love cottage cheese :)
For dinner I ate the last bit of my peanut chicken.
Altogether not very much, but at least I'm over 1200 calories today.

Weight day and diet bet!

Yay, it's weight day!
My scale, fully charged again, shows whooping 2,6 kg less than the scale of my doctor las week on Monday. 105,7 kg, yay me! It's also 5,7 kg less than the pharmacy's scale showed me on monday, but I don't think I can count that :D
It's a little soon for the first before/after pics, but they will come as soon as I hit the 100 kg!

I also joined a dietbet. For those who don't know it, you join games there, pay your share (25 $ in my case), and the pot gets split between all those who lost at least 4% of their initial weight. It's the first time I'm doing something like that, and I'm really excited about it. The pot is currently 1725 $. If I win something, I will put it in my "new clothes for a slimmer me" fund!

09.10.2013

No exercise today, I just didn't have the time.

Again, big problems to eat enough. A protein shake for breakfast, another third of the delicious chicken from yesterday, and a double protein shake to make it through the 8 1/2 hours of breakless work. Now I'm home again, not a little bit hungry... and I'm surely won't eat something when I'm not hungry. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

08.10.2013

I'm having a really hard time getting enough calories every day. I don't starve myself, I'm just not hungry enough! All the protein fills me up so much, it's almost creepy.
For breakfast I had a protein shake. After ergotherapy, I visited the day center for the first time, where they offered me to eat with them - I declined, even though I was hungry. Too many carbs for me! It wasn't even hard, I had no appetite for it. I made a salad with tuna and eggs instead when I came home.
To stock up on calories, I decided to make me a opulent dinner. Chicken and broccoli in peanut cream sauce! Delicious, and about 1200 calories heavy. Yeah, I had that much left in my plan. But I was full after only a third of my meal. So my plan failed.
It's not too late to snack on some nuts or a banana, but it's a really strange feeling - I never had the problem with eating too less.

No exercise for me today, after 3 days of workout I needed a rest.

07.10.2013

Today was my Krav Maga class! 90 minutes of intense training and drills, and I love every minute of it. In the end I'm hardly able to hit the pads of my sparring partner. Now I'm completely exhausted, but happy.

Ate way too little today. For breakfast I had just a shake. My lunch was a delicious omelet with cheese and diced ham. I tried to make pancakes for a late lunch when I got hungry, which turned into a cooking disaster. After Krav I'm never hungry, so I had a shake for dinner too. Not even 1000 calories, I have to work on that. I think I will have some nuts now, to balance my intake a bit.

Cooking disasters

Yeah, I'm not the best cook. Sometimes something goes terribly wrong...

This strange purree was meant to be pancakes sooner this afternoon. I was hungry, I wanted to make me a protein shake, and suddenly I craved pancakes. Paaaaancakes!!
Who doesn't crave pancakes once in a while?
So instead drinking my yummy chocolate protein shake, I decided to throw some spelt flour and eggs into the shake. Yeah, it was a little runny, but well, what could possibly go wrong?

Yeeeaaah... should have thought of all the possibilities. It was impossible to flip the pancake, so maybe make a Kaiserschmarrn out of it?

Didn't go so well, it turned into a strange, yucky purree. It tastes like nothing, and the texture is really gross. No thank you, I'm not eating this. And I'm not hungry anymore :D

Scale frustration

My scale is without batteries for quite some time now. When I started dieting and doing sports again, I first did it only for feeling better, I didn't intend to weigh myself at all.
But then i thought, fuck it, why should i relinquish the achievement of a visible weight loss in numbers? I didn't intend to overstate the numbers on the scale. Muscles weigh more than fat anyway, and i surely want at least some nice baby muscles. But I decided to weigh myself again, which I didn't do since months.
So with my broken scale, when I visited my doctor last Wednesday, I went on his scale instead. 108,3 kg. That's something I can work with.

Today I wasn't able to resist anymore. I was a good girl for over a week, dieting properly, doing my sports, I even already felt lighter than before. I wanted my scale achievement!
So I went to my pharmacy because I knew they have a scale. I took off shoes, jacket, scarf, and climbed the scale - and it showed 112,2. A hundret and twelve point two kg! I had a calorie deficit of over 500 each day last week, it's absolutely impossible that i gained three kg within 5 days. No fucking way!

Yeah, different scales give different results. In other words, I have no way to track my weight loss process over the last week, and I won't be able to do so until I get new batteries for my own scale. That's definately frustrating. Aaargh.

06.10.2013

Today was definately a good day. Despite work, where i have to stand for 7 hours and keep concentrated, lift heavy stuff sometimes etc., I felt the urge to go out running today. I completed W2D3 of Zombies 5k and made a total of 3,5 km. Yay me! Additionally, I made 60 push ups for my Fitocracy challenge, so I'm at 150/1000 this month. Again, yay me!

Eating went well today too, my breakfast consisted of a chocolate protein shake, and the peanut butter oatmeal I mentioned yesterday three hours later. For lunch I made me 300g of pork cutlet and some veggies, and because it was so much, I ate the remains for dinner too. In between I snaked some cheese. Carbs are under 100g today, which makes me happy :)

Altogether, everything goes well. I can't wait for weight day! I hope until then I'll have batteries for my scale again, my mom took them to exchange them and now I'm lost, cause I don't know what kind of batteries are in it :D 

05.10.2013

Today the carb bomb hit me. I had chocolate oatmeal with banana for breakfast - sounds incredibly unhealthy, but it's only about 500 calories and full of protein goodness. Sadly it's also quite heavy on carbs. For lunch I had the same wraps as yesterday - again carbs, this time in the tortillas. And right now I'm enjoying a selfmade papaya peach protein smoothie. It all adds up to 222g of carbs, which is way more than I want to eat (I see my daily limit around 150 max, and try to eat less as often as possible). It's still 100g less than MyFitnessPal recommends, but I'm not happy about today's carb intake. Well, I stayed under my calorie limit, so everything is fine.
And for tomorrow I prepared myself peanut butter oatmeal, can't wait to try it!

Today was Week 2, Day 2 of Zombies, Run 5k. The weather was beyond yucky, it was raining all the time. And my rain coat was leaking, after 10 minutes i was dripping wet. I still made it through the training, yay me! Only made about 2,5 km, but it's better than nothing, considering that I'll be working tomorrow and probably won't work out besides my push ups for the Fitocracy challenge. Oh, yeah, push ups! Made 50 kneeling push ups today too.

NF 6 Weeks Challenge #1 - I'm in!

The NerdFitness 6 Weeks Challenges are the perfect challenges for my inner nerd. It's a fitness based real life role playing game. You create a character, set yourself goals, and level up your character by fullfilling these challenges. I'm a little late, the current challenge started at 16th of September, but you can participate any time.

 

Am I late? What did I miss?

 ... the story of my life, I'm always late  But it's never too late, is it?

I'm 24 years old and 108,3 kg heavy, and I'm definately not happy about it.

Main goal: 

Fitting into normal german size 44 pants again, until my 25th birthday in January.

Quests: 

1) Exercise 4 times a week. Only excuse is severe sickness.

2) Keep up my low carb diet.

3) Be able to run for 10 minutes without a break. 

Life Side Quest: 

Finally get my application forms done.

04.10.2013

I planned to go to the gym, but when i rode my bike to the library, I discovered that my legs are still incredibly tired from my runs yesterday and the day before yesterday. I barely made it home. That was about 30 minutes of cycling at low speed, about 4 km.
At home, I made 4x10 kneeling push ups, for the 1000 push ups a month challenge at Fitocracy.




For breakfast I had a yummy shake, containing a peach, one glass of low sugar red berry compote, 500g of lowfat quark and 60g raspberry flavoured protein powder.
Between meals, i snacked a banana and an apple.
For lunch I tried this yummy tuna wrap recipe from MichaelKoryFitness. It tasted awesome and I'm still not hungry, after 8 hours!
For dinner I will have the rest of my shake again, I think I don't need more.

How everything started

Hello everyone :)

It was 2 weeks ago, when I was looking for something completely different on the web, when I found Runkeeper. It's an app that allows you to keep track of all your running exercises, and you can link it to several other apps. I was curious and browsed through the different linked apps, and then I saw it.

Zombies, Run!

It was perfect for the nerd girl I am. Running around, building up your base and getting chased by zombies, that sounded fun! So I got the app, I got Runkeeper, and I put on my running shoes, which I didn't use for years.
It was a disaster. After a few minutes I had to stop, hardly getting any breath. I was completely out of shape - and I was shocked. I already realized I wasn't that fit, but there had been times when I got out of my house and ran 40 minutes without having a break, even around my current weight.

That was the moment I realized that I had to change something.

It was like a switch got flipped. First I just decided to start running on a regular basis again. Then I went to a Krav Maga class with my best friend and it was so much fun that I decided to enroll. I started to cook more, instead of eating junk food. And I found Fitocracy, an amazing fitness community with more support than I could ever imagine.

Another week later, I decided exercise wasn't enough. I needed a more drastic change in my diet. Carbohydrates never made me really full, so I switched to a strict low carb diet with lots of protein.

Yesterday I finally weighed myself, I start with 108,3 kg (which isn't as bad as i feared, but more than I hoped for). My first goals are to get under 100 again, and to never see this digits ever again, and to run 30 minutes without stopping again. I know I can do it!

Hello World

Hello everyone!

My name is Kristina, I'm 24 years old and I'm a chubby girl. And now I feel like I'm at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Duh.

I was always the chubby girl that said she was okay with her life style, with her health and her looks.
You know what, I was lying. And I'm sick of it. I don't want to be the girl anymore that doesn't fit into the dress of her dreams, I don't wanna ask myself anymore if I look like a weird whale when I'm dancing, I don't wanna be afraid of doctor's appointments because they could tell me that my weight caused severe health issues.

I wanna be a superhero, climbing up walls and flying through the air, but you can't have everything, right? So I would already be happy with losing 40 kg and be a normal, healthy and fit girl.

And this is my journey.